Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation (johno) wrote,
Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation
johno

A couple of really bad ones...




At a press conference today, Tipper Gore announced that she's going back on the Campaign Trail with her husband, former Vice President Al Gore who had changed his mind about running for President.

"To prepare myself," she said "I have shaved off all my pubic hair. From now until the election, I shall sit on the stage with the former Vice President, and may occasionally flash my legs apart without wearing any panties. This will send a strong message to America."

"What is that message?" gasped astonished reporters at the news of this rather startling announcement.

To which Tipper replied, "Read my lips, no more Bush."

---

A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the abbot to question this, Pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The Abbot says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son". So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

Eventually the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall. His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?" In a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word is celebrate, not celibate!"
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