11:45 pm - Overheard tonight at rehearsal.
Director to Stagehand: "Please spike the bed location please."
Stagehand proceeds to spike the right front wheel.
Director: "Upstage side please."
Stagehand pulls tape, then spikes the left front wheel.
Director: "Upstage side please!"
Stagehand looks confused.
Director: "Are you really of my flesh? Upstage--Spike the rear wheels."
Director is the mother of the stage hand, who has been helping backstage since he was big enough to wave a paint brush and carry props.