Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation (johno) wrote,
Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation

25 signs that you've grown up...

Found in dyanearden's LJ:


1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

I once lived in a apartment that had a succession of residents and a bay window filled with dead plants. When we (the final residents) cleaned them out, we found that at least half of them were pot plants that had never been "trimmed."

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

A twin bed is fine for the sex part. It's the collapsing afterwards were it becomes a problem.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

You mean like that 3 year old 6-pack in the back?

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

I'm still a Carpe Nocturne type. Alas no longer all night long, but I keep Geek hours.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

On the cheesy Golden Moldies station.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

I have a friend who is on air there.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

Actually we tease many of our friends that we need a score card and a flow chart.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

Advantages of working for a old style "brick & mortar", I'm slowly working my way up to "how can I use it all" level of time off.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

They don't?????

10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

"Play some real music, like Rock-n-Roll!!!!"

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

Age never stopped my family, though now I'm one of the one embarrassing the younger cousins and such.

12. You don't know what time TacoBell closes anymore.

"Open Late" means past 9pm, right?

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

Sigh, yep. When we bought the new car, the insurance co "noticed" we had crossed the 40 milestone. The insurance on the new car, was about the same as that on the old one.

14. You feed your dog cats Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

The kitties have delicate stomachs too.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

But the Lay-z-boy is so comfortable.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

Shhh, I do sneak the occasional one still.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

Errrr. Does visiting Borders count as continuing the date?

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.

At 3PM, it would upset it.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

Costco is cheaper and comes in larger sizes.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

My tastes were elevated beyond $4 bottles a long time ago.

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

{{{pithy comment about wanting breakfast food at other times...}}}

Oh, no breakfast no longer occurs at 1pm.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."

Lightweights are us.

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

50%, but I am a geek after all.

24. You drink at home so you can save money by not going to a bar.

We stay home to watch TV not drink.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

And then I commented on it.

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